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May 06, 2012 09:12:33
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You may well ask the question - what has this got to do with Noble Leadership and Noble Inspiration. I will start at the end and then go back to the beginning in this simple but, I hope, profound tale.

"We will not always remember what people say to us or do to us but what we will remember is how they made us feel". I am not sure where I first saw this quotation and certainly do not know the creator of it but it has stayed in my mind for a long time. Over the past few years I have been constantly reading books by an Author called Adeline Yen Mah. Her books such as "Falling Leaves" and "Watching the Tree" have had a deep and profound effect on me. In one of these books she recounts the application of an ancient Chinese proverb as demonstrated within the book called "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan. It demonstrates the blending of the Yin/Yang principle with the buy/sell concept. It is to do with the unfairness of relationships and in the Movie the character feels that her life and marriage is being constantly compromised in terms of time, devotion, attention, affection, loyalty, care and consideration. She can see that she has reached a "Life Defining Moment".

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As a result of this book I was then reminded again to see the Movie and to watch and study this particular scene and once again I was deeply moved and could see clearly how our lives are all effected by the combination of this yin/yang principle and the buy/sell concept and how because of unfairness often we have to "eat our losses". This mental process then causes disappointment and loss of self and even loss of self respect. The actress who played this particular part in the Movie is Lauren Tom who has since achieved much success and fame in her life and so it was that I decided to write to her and tell her about her part in my Noble Leadership journey. In my research on her I also found a deeply inspiring and comforting poem which I decided I would like to always include in my teaching, workshops, seminars and public speaking, and so I was motivated and inspired to begin "The Search for Lauren Tom".

Lately I have been telling people about the importance of Reflection and in fact that we should do this daily. In a Seminar last week I spoke about the importance of the question, "What did I learn yesterday?" Often we never ask ourselves this question and more often we cannot even remember what we did yesterday let alone what we learnt. It is from Reflection at the end of each day that we can contemplate the day and look for the things that we learnt. The deep things that only we can understand and learn from. Not only is this the cultivation of Wisdom but it is also in part the deeper understanding of oneself.

When I return to the Movie I do not recall the particular words used by the character portrayed by Lauren Tom but I do remember how she made me feel. It is from this "feeling" that I began my search.

The real story lies not with Lauren Tom, although I am sure that she is indeed a very special person, but rather within myself and others. In life and in work we often look for true meaning about something outside ourselves. We look for it in our work or in our sport and in our relationships but this is a very illusory way to find true meaning. True meaning is found within and it lies within our True Self. If we are unsure about the meaning of life then the answer will not lie outside us because it is already deeply within. Some will find this within their Heart but in order to achieve this we must first clear away all the obstacles and toxic garbage that lies within our Mind and our Nature.

As this is being done then we can see and understand ourselves much better. With the emerging discovery of our real self then we will find a new feeling-a feeling of fulfillment.

I am not saying that in order for us to feel fulfilled with our lives then we should all start the search for Lauren Tom and our deepest most important questions will be answered. The answers do not lie within someone else but inside each of our Hearts.

To become a true leader or even a Noble Inspirational Leader we should recognize the importance of "going within" or what I call "returning to myself" and it is from this process of reflection that we will find ourselves and then awaken the true leader within. Leadership does not have to come from others but it comes from within us. And so I now reflect on "We will not always remember what people say to us or do to us but what we will remember is how they made us feel".

The Search for Lauren Tom